You are spirt and it’s very good to remember that but you are also extremely human. It is good to meditate all the positive thoughts and strive to be the best spiritual human you can but there must be balance.
You must not be so hard on yourself for the thinking and feeling that just comes along with being human. That’s why your here and it’s supposed to be a helluva ride. You’re really doing just fine. Keep growing, that is all you ever wanted from this experience.